I know of many people who have become inactive, due to something another member has said, or even something their bishop has said. I have been in a couple different situations in the past few years where I have strongly disagreed with something one of my bishops has said, It is a hard thing to deal with. To know that your bishop is supposed to help and guide you during difficult times but your feelings differ so drastically from what he is saying.
Recently I was in a situation like this, mind you I am NOT a fan of our current ward already, I was denied something that I very much needed for myself. That I felt so strongly that I had to do.This action of denial has left me feeling a little... empty. Heart broken really. To know that I have worked so hard to change so much in my life, and worked so hard since to continue to be a better person, for me and for my family. And yet still be denied something it took so long for me to get in the first place? It really and truly is tearing me apart. I know that the Church is true, that what is teaches and has to offer in undeniably real and pure. But it is also undeniably run but imperfect men. Unfortunately.
I will not become inactive. I still go to Church, I still read my scriptures, I still say my prayers and do everything I have done before. Because I know that the Gospel is perfect and I need it in my life. I just wish that I didn't live in DayBreak, that my bishop was a more kind and compassionate, less worldly, man. But he is in his position not just to help the ward members but also to learn, and to grow spiritually himself. So although I am hurt by his decision and the things he said, I will accept what he said and continue to support him.
Thank you for allowing me to get this out, I have been holding on to these feelings for awhile now and haven't had anyone to talk to about them. I feel much better. :)
You are right, the church is true and ran by imperfect beings. I know for one from experience that we are called to positions mainly to grow and learn for ourselfs. But again it is our choice if we let the Lord refine us or not. Some of us do 9let the Lord refine us) and some of us don't and it is hard on those they have charge over, if they choose not to. But our trials we go through make us stronger if WE let the Lord do His work on us to refine us. The Lord will continue to be with you if you are doing all that you can do, regardless of what is going on around you. Two article that have helped me lately are Elder Hale' conference talk "Waiting on the Lord" and Pres. Uchtdorf' "You matter to him". They are so good. You are a wonderful daughter of our Heavenly Father, don't let anything or anyone tell you different. Love coming from So. UT
ReplyDeleteAs a Bishop's wife, I can truly say that Bishops are still just men trying to do what is right. They do have a great blessing of having the Spirit with them in a way that is unimaginable to the rest of us, but that certainly does not make them perfect. Even the prophet is not perfect, although I think he is pretty near perfection. I am sorry that you are having a hard time in your ward and everything. But I am glad that you are still striving to do what is right. Every experience we have is one that we can choose to learn and grow from, or we can choose to let it drag us down. I say choose to learn what you need to learn and it sounds like you are doing just that. Be patient with your Bishop and other leaders for that matter. We can all only see what we think is going on from the outside, but we don't know what is happening on the inside. Does that make sense? Love you and hope things get sorted out soon. So sorry we missed Chloie's party yesterday. From your Facebook pictures, it looks like she had a great time. Such a cutie. :)
ReplyDeleteKelc first off, please know you can call me WHENEVER you want to vent about something. I'm pretty sure I wont have an answer but I can promise that I would listen!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I don't know your exact situation BUT i do know and I can sense that you are trying extremely hard. Continue with your efforts I can promise you they will pay off. You are right about the bishop learning as well. We are all different people and yes the bishop is there to guide you and help you but it is hard when you are two completely different people. I can kind of relate all though mine is not serious at all. Just a little example. I was talking to my bishop about serving a mission and he almost strongly disagreed with me and told me that I had a lot to offer and that he things a bachelors degree would be perfect for me. It took through me for a loop because not once have a ever felt a strong need to go to school. I definitely know i could have a lot to offer but i feel like I have more to offer gospel wise than school wise. BUT that's because my bishop and i are very different in that aspect. He is a strong believer that everyone needs an education. So as simple of an example as that is, it's true. You are different from your bishop and sometimes that can make things difficult. But I just want you to know that I think you are amazing and I can see you are truly trying to do what's best for you and your family and you are doing an awesome job! You are such a good mom to Chloie and she will appreciate EVERY effort you are making right now. I'm sure it is overwhelming and draining for you but just know that your effort is all that matters! Your life and your kids lives will be blessed because of this hard situation you are going through! I love you cuz! Please please call me. I miss you!
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